Carlson

What ruins a fun day at the beach? Sharks! Professional graphic by: John Carlson

John Carlson: Shark Phobia Isn’t Fishy

By: John Carlson— Our annual vacation to the Gulf of Mexico is coming up, so naturally I’m getting a trifle twitchy. You see, the gulf has – there’s no easy way to put this  – sharks. I never used to think much about sharks before we started vacationing on beaches…


Insolent stinkbugs defy human domination. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Bugs are Creating a Stink

By: John Carlson— Stinkbugs. They’re not just in Muncie anymore. Please forgive my riff on the old TV commercial touting, “Orange juice. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.” But some recent Facebook traffic leads me to believe that stinkbugs are now as ubiquitous as America’s favorite fruit drink. This came…


Checking out clouds with my Cloud Selector. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Cloudy days? Excellent!

By: John Carlson— Clouds? You gotta love ‘em. I love watching them form and drift and, alas, dissipate. And who doesn’t love how they dress up the sky during a spectacular sunset? What’s more, I’m told the same glorious thing sometimes occurs at sunrise, though being retired now, I wouldn’t…


A barbell creates bulging, he-man muscles. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Lifting weights? One’ll Do

By: John Carlson— I am a weightlifter. Literally. By this, I mean I lift a single weight. One. Eins. Uno. This lonely barbell came into my possession Christmas morning, courtesy of my wife, Nan. But while it is only a 10-pounder, it was far and away my biggest gift, both…


My dork factor makes a fedora unwearable. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: A Tip of the Hat to Hats

By: John Carlson— I’ve recently inherited two hats. One is a classic fedora, the type that as a little boy I called a “daddy hat.” That’s because back in the day, it was the kind my father wore to funerals, dental appointments and similar somber gatherings. The other is a…


Crawl space inhabitants are pushing their luck. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Time for Ban on Raccoons

By: John Carlson— I don’t believe in ghosts, much, but I do believe in raccoons. If I ever doubted raccoons exist – which, of course, I didn’t – proof of them has become irrefutable of late, since a whole family of the pesky varmints has apparently moved under our house….


Movie tickets lead to Oscar statuettes. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Great Flicks? Here Ya Go!

By: John Carlson— Academy Awards time, also known as Oscar Night, is nearing, so I decided to offer my thoughts on movies. Of the Best Picture nominees, Nan and I have seen two, “Manchester by the Sea” and “La La Land.” Both of us loved the former, but were divided…


Lack of snow means a lack of sledding trauma. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: No Sledding Today? Yay!

By: John Carlson— I love snowless winter days for any number of reasons, not least of which is this: They eliminate any chance I might go sledding. Oh sure, I used to go sledding. This was when I was a grade-school child. We lived in a city near Lake Erie’s…


Even dogs got excited when they saw my saxophone. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Sax Career Ended on Sour Note

By: John Carlson— Every now and again, I think about digging out my old saxophone and giving it a toot. Then, usually, I don’t. I had taken ten lessons on a rented horn before Dad bought my sax for $500 back in the early 1960s, when a brand new Chevy…


Tea just doesn't cut it for a coffee person. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Only Tea to Drink? Yuk

By: John Carlson— Lately I’ve been drinking tea at my writing desk, which has been fine in every respect but one. I hate tea. OK, OK. Hate is a very strong word, as Nan always reminds me when I say things like, “I hate french fries without ketchup,” or, “…


My new electric toothbrush demands a good grip. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Electric Brush not for Wimps

By: John Carlson— Based on my dental hygienist’s recommendation, I recently began using an electric toothbrush. This isn’t the first time, though. As I recall, my family had one way back in the 1960s, except that brush’s gears were attached by pulleys to an archaic electric generator powered by a…


Some resolutions are tastier than others. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Time for self-improvement!

By: John Carlson— It’s time to start making New Year’s resolutions, an annual endeavor in which I am commonly guided by four little words. The easier the better. For example, I could vow to lose 30 pounds in 2017, but I’d be setting myself up for failure, my chances of…


Being Santa isn’t a job to be taken lightly. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Santa Gig is an Eye-Opener

By: John Carlson— Frankly, I’m usually not too enthusiastic a Christmas celebrant, though occasionally I do miss being Santa Claus. What? Me? Santa Claus? Oh yeah, baby, I was the Big Guy once, way back when my previous employer drafted me to be Jolly Old St. Nick for the company…


Shaving club blades tend to grow and multiply. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: A Close Shave is a Fine Shave

By: John Carlson– When it comes to shaving, I have always been a blade man. Beats me why, exactly, but using a blade as opposed to an electric shaver seemed cooler, more “rootsy,” more organic, if you will. The shaves seemed closer, too, come to think of it. Guess that’s…


Photographic evidence aside, I’m just fine. Photo by: Nancy Carlson

John Carlson: Wife’s Away, But it’s a Good Day!

By: John Carlson— My wife Nan occasionally goes on church mission trips, or vacations with her sisters. But before she left this last time, she warned me against writing a bunch of blatant falsehoods about how emotionally devastating her absences always are to me, like I did during her previous…